Over the last few weeks, emails and messages have flooded my inbox. It has been a while since I’ve blogged, but I intend to do several this week. Do not fear. I am alive and well.
Today, I thought I’d answer some of the questions that relate to my husband, Jackie. There were some really good questions! The answers are below, and they are in no particular order.
1. When did you get married? March 11 of last year. So we are approaching the 1 year mark as husband and wife.
2. How long did you date? We started dating in November of 2015. We moved in together in February 2016. He proposed in July 2016. And we got married March 2017. So we dated for about 8 months, and we were engaged for about 8 months.
3. When did it become serious? I am not sure. I think he was all in immediately, while I was still very guarded by being hurt in previous relationships. He quickly changed my mind, though.
4. Any regrets while you dated? A couple. I hurt him two times while we dated and I still feel guilty about it.
5. Does he snore? He does. But so do I.
6. Does he cook? Of course. He does probably a third of the cooking, especially if he is off of work on any particular day.
7. Does he collect anything? Knives. Flashlights. Guns. Socks. White t-shirts. Tablets (only because he never seems satisfied with what we buy and they just pile up).
8. What does he do for a living? He’s a nurse. He works at a hospital a parish away full time and then the small hospital in town about one night a week as well.
9. Is he a good listener? Most of the time. There are times I need to vent and he will interrupt and chime in with a story about the similar thing that happened to him. But generally, he does listen to me.
10. What cologne does he wear? He has a little of everything. Nautica Voyage is my favorite. But he can’t wear cologne to work due to their “no fragrance” policy, so he’s been using a beard balm to smooth out his facial hair. It’s from Reign Beard Care, the Governor’s scent. It smells so good – like pipe tobacco.
11. Do his kids like you? I am sure I’m more annoying to them than anything. Just someone they tolerate while they visit their dad. But they are grown, so I try not to get too upset about it anymore. I’m here if they need me. I actually heard from his son today out of the blue, so maybe things are looking up.
12. What romantic things has he done for you? When we worked together, he used to bring me little snacks during the day – a pack of Oreos or M&Ms, and that was really sweet. These days, if he grows a wild hair, he will clean the house and cook dinner and have the kids bathed so that I don’t have to do anything when I get home, and those are the best nights we have as a family. I so appreciate that.
13. What are his bad habits? Well, he dips and leaves his spit cups/bottles laying around. He can’t seem to put his shoes away – he just sort of kicks them off and they stay there until I pick them up. He leaves spare change, his wallet, and work paraphernalia laying on counters and tables, but I don’t know if that’s a bad habit or if it just annoys me to no end. He’s a good husband. I shouldn’t complain as much as I do.
14. What do you have in common? We both like to have fun and play and laugh. We both have backgrounds in the healthcare industry so we can talk about our workdays without confusing each other. We both have a fondness for animals, babies, movies, shopping, the mountains, fishing, bowling, steaks and cold weather. We also dislike similar things like hunting, dishonesty, arrogance, opossums, and nosey neighbors.
15. How do you differ? He’s tall, I’m, uhhh, less tall. He draws, I write. He is a lot more laid back than I am. He handles bad days differently than I do – he gets angry while I just cry. He would prefer to walk away from a fight while I will always confront the issue, no matter what words are said. He’s a much better bowler than me. I’m a much better fisherman than him (he has a hard time admitting that). I think we complement each other very well.
16. Why haven’t you had a baby yet? We “can’t.” My tubes are tied. But I would be pregnant right now if it was possible. I want another one so bad.
17. What do you all do for fun? I think, with Jack, it’s not about the “what we do,” but more about the “who it’s with.” I can have fun with Jackie just watching t.v. As far as activities, we like to go to movies. We enjoy fishing and bowling. We like staying up late playing cards. We play with our dog. Sometimes we’ll tag team a nice dinner and sit together and eat. When you’re married to your best friend, it doesn’t really matter what you do. It’s all fun.
18. When did you all meet each other’s kids? Pretty quickly after we started dating. A couple of weeks, maybe? I knew Jackie was going to be a part of my life and my kids’ lives for a long time, so there were no hesitations.
19. When did you know he was Mr. Right? Immediately. I knew because God told me. I know that sounds strange. And you can call it timing or fate or whatever, but I knew Jackie was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
20. About what do you “agree to disagree?” I think our two biggest disagreements are the condition of the house and the way I raise the kids. Jackie does not prioritize cleaning the way I do, and I will admit, I am very anal about it. My eye goes to one speck of dust on a table and I immediate start to panic. Jackie sees that the floor is picked up and the dishes are done and he thinks it’s good enough. I think it has more do with our personalities than the house itself. He’s a “coast through life” kind of guy – very laid back, not letting much bother him. And I’m the opposite. Everything bothers me, nothing is ever good enough and I need to have something to complain about. As far as the kids go, I am often too soft when it comes to discipline and punishment. I prefer to talk to my kids and compromise with them. Jackie is more of a “my way or the highway” parent – what he says is Scripture, and there’s no straying. Granted, I always have the final say, and we never actually fight about it. It’s just sort of an unspoken thing. It would be interesting to see how we’d parent a new baby.
21. Is he a leader or a follower? Who’s the boss? You must be single. Anybody who is part of a successful marriage will tell you that no one should be the “boss.” Jackie and I are a team. We both contribute to every aspect of our lives – cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids, working and earning money. We support each other. We don’t make any decisions without talking to the other person. That’s what marriage is all about, at least in my opinion.
22. How has your husband changed you? That’s a really good question. He wouldn’t know this, because he still thinks I’m pretty high strung, but he has made me a much calmer person. I don’t freak out nearly as much as I used to, especially about little things. I have a better filter, holding my tongue more often. He has made me a more loyal person. I used to consider significant others “disposable,” because no one had ever met my needs the way Jackie does. And it did take me a while to change that about myself. But I did. Jackie and I are committed to each other and only each other – nobody else in and nobody out. Jackie has made me a better mom. With his help, I can worry less about the house or dinner or homework or baths, and I can actually enjoy my time with Lexi and Jameson. And that is such a relief. Jackie has taught me a lot about myself – that I can do what I set my mind to, that I am a genuinely good person and that I deserve to be loved. But I think more than anything, he has made me aware of my worth. I know I am of value now, and that’s something no one except him has helped me understand. For that, I am forever grateful.
Good questions, Y’all!
Tune in tomorrow for a blog about the benefits of being a one-car family.
Meg / cC